Zheng Wang

Chapter 79 I Can't Live Without You

At 09:30 in the evening, Ke Jinrui arrived at the hospital in a hurry.

It was raining badly today, but in the time it took to get out of the car and close the door, most of his body was drenched by the rain.Ke Jinxi sent the address of the ward to his mobile phone in advance. Ke Su's condition is not serious, but he is an old patient after all. The recurrence of myocardial infarction is likely to be just the beginning, and subsequent complications are unpredictable, so he was directly sent to the ICU for rescue.

Standing in the corridor were Ke Jinxi, Xu Zhendong, Luo Xingnan and the doctor in charge this time. They were talking and heard footsteps.Ke Jinrui took off his wet suit jacket while walking, and threw it into Xu Zhendong's hand when he got to the place.

"How is the situation, is it convenient for Fang to go in and take a look?" He looked at Luo Xingnan and the other doctors in turn.

In order to prevent cross-infection, the intensive care unit has strict visiting hours, usually about half an hour in the afternoon, and no entry is allowed during the rest of the time.But the Ke family is not an outsider, and the old man fell ill suddenly, and the children were not prepared, so the hospital will not refute this face too much.

Luo Xingnan didn't speak, and turned his head to look at the doctor next to him.

The attending doctor understood and said very politely: "You can change your clothes and go in to see if there is no problem, but it can't be too long, you have to come out in 5 minutes."

Ke Jinrui nodded in response and said, "I'm sorry to bother you."

Not long after, a little nurse came out with anti-bacterial clothing and disposable shoe covers. Ke Jinxi helped change clothes, and finally handed over a mask.Ke Jinrui dressed in a hurry, and didn't pay much attention to her sister's expression at first, but then suddenly looked up and found that she seemed to have cried, and her eyes were very red.

"It's nothing." Ke Jinrui fixed the hair on the side of her other face for her, "Don't worry too much."

Ke Jinxi pursed his lips and said "um", and said softly: "The old man is not even dying, and he doesn't cooperate at all inside. I was about to persuade him, but he just slammed me, telling me not to waste time with this place, and hurry to find Guan Zan." return."

Ke Jinrui remained silent, and Ke Jinxi said again: "It was fine at first, nothing happened, Dad just wanted to take Guan Zan out of the stage, and went backstage and that's it."

"I see." Ke Jinrui shook her hand, "I'll take a look first, and I'll talk about the rest when I come out."

After speaking, he entered the intensive care unit with the nurse waiting beside him.

Ke Su was placed on the right hand side near the door, surrounded by machines, and two nurses were testing his blood sugar. Seeing the family members coming in, they moved away a little.

After a lot of tossing, the old man's complexion was not very good-looking, he was a little blue from holding his breath, his eyes were red, and his capillaries were severely congested.He was wearing a ventilator-assisted mask, which covered most of his face. Ke Jinrui couldn't see his expression clearly, but judging from the degree of chest heaving, the old man's condition still didn't improve.

Just then, his cell phone rang.

There were other critically ill patients in the intensive care unit, Ke Jinrui didn't even look at them, and just cut off the call.

The sound woke up the semi-conscious Ke Su. The old man's cloudy eyes rolled around. The moment his sight touched Ke Jinrui, he was startled for a moment, then suddenly opened his eyes wide, and raised the arm buried with the retained needle to try to reach him.

Ke Jinrui walked to the bed and held his hand.The ventilator was making a lot of noise, and the mask blocked the sound. He watched the old man's mouth open and close, so he had to bend down and listen carefully.

Ke Su said, "Guan Zan... find..."

Ke Jinrui touched the back of his cold hand, and comforted him in a low voice: "Don't worry about it, and recuperate well here. I'll definitely get Guan Zan back for you, okay?"

In this world, Ke Su hated his youngest son the most, and also believed in him the most, so he closed his eyes contentedly when he heard the words.Ke Jinrui stared at him for a while longer, and before leaving, he reached out and wiped away the tears overflowing from the corners of the old man's eyes.

He didn't stay long, and left the ICU ward stuck in the timeline.

The attending doctor had already come in to take care of the patient, but Luo Xingnan was still waiting outside.Ke Jinrui took off the suit on his body, turned around and asked, "How is the situation?"

"It's all old problems." Luo Xingnan replied, "Godfather's bypass surgery more than ten years ago is almost at the end of the year, and the bridge vessels may also be blocked, and the heart itself has failed. This time, it was stimulated again, so it induced Heart attack."

Ke Jinrui nodded thoughtfully, and asked again: "What treatment is there?"

Luo Xingnan subconsciously glanced at Ke Jinxi, as if hesitant.Ke Jinrui said: "It's okay, tell the truth, we can accept it."

Luo Xingnan breathed a sigh of relief, and said: "If you want to confirm whether there is a problem with the bridge vessel, you can only do another angiography, but considering his age and physical condition, even if the results come out, he can't bear the second thoracotomy and bypass surgery." The only option is conservative treatment."

"Brother Jinrui." He took two steps forward and said in a low voice, "The situation is not so optimistic, you have to be mentally prepared."

Ke Jinrui let out a flat "hmm", turned his head to look into Luo Xingnan's eyes: "Thank you for making a trip at night."

"It's okay, I'm still on duty." Luo Xingnan said lightly, "Besides, if I'm in the hospital, if I don't know to come and see my godfather, the old man who passes it back to our house won't agree, and he won't interrupt my conversation." leg."

After he finished speaking, Ke Jinrui patted him on the shoulder casually, then turned to look at Ke Jinxi. "I've been busy during this period, so I haven't had much contact with Guan Zan. The phone has never been disconnected, but I really didn't hear anything wrong." He was serious, and his brows furrowed little by little, "Did something happen at school?" What's up?"

Ke Jinxi was silent for a while, and then shook his head firmly: "The folk orchestra has just resumed joint practice, Guan Zan's performance is the same as before, and there is no problem with regular classes. He has a regular schedule, except for these two places, he will go to more A piano room."

She raised her head to meet Ke Jinrui's gaze, her eyes filled with deep doubts: "How did he know?"

"I haven't bothered to ask yet." Ke Jinrui suddenly remembered something, and quickly took out his mobile phone, and said while checking the missed calls, "I'll make a call."

Over there, Yu Shaojia didn't dare to call again after being hung up once. Anyway, Ke Jinrui has a sense of proportion and will definitely contact him when he is free.

The two talked on the phone, and Yu Shaojia first asked about the old man's situation, and then briefly explained Guan Zan's affairs to Ke Jinrui.Ke Jinrui didn't interrupt him the whole time, and he didn't even respond to the news that Guan Zan might give up the guzheng.Yu Shaojia couldn't figure out what he was thinking. After finishing speaking, he was silent for a while, and then couldn't help asking: "What else can I do for you?"

Ke Jinrui remained silent for a longer time, as if he didn't hear the other party's question at all.

He was born in a family of musicians, but he was not influenced by tradition. In his opinion, whether Guan Zan continued to insist on Guzheng was not that important. However, a hidden message reflected in this decision really caught him off guard.

That day he asked Guan Zan why he gave up the exchange qualification. The reason Guan Zan gave was that he hated Guzheng, his teacher, and him.He said that he can not have the best, and these are enough for now.But now he has changed his mind, he wants to regain the opportunity that was given up, and he went to Xia Mingxi's house immediately after leaving the concert hall, which shows that this idea was not impulsive, but a decision made after careful consideration .

At the beginning, it was because she was reluctant to refuse, but now the change can only be because she is willing...

Ke Jinrui sighed for a moment, and only then did he truly realize how hard Guan Zan's heart is behind his meekness.If he wants to love, he can love unreservedly, give and tolerate wholeheartedly, but once he has made up his mind, he can also let it go without hesitation.

What an unfamiliar little wild cat.

Ke Jinrui heaved a long sigh, and finally replied: "No need, I'll go over in person later and talk to him."

"It's not that I want to meddle in your affairs, but I have to remind you to pay attention to your attitude when you come here. Guan Zan seems to be quite sensitive now." Yu Shaojia said, "I heard from the teacher surnamed Xia that he cried as soon as he entered the door. "

Ke Jinrui paused, and then said, "I see."

After hanging up the phone, Ke Jinrui took the coat from Xu Zhendong's hand again, and explained to the others: "I found Guan Zan, I'll go to his place, but Dad won't let me in, you guys see it's late, go back and rest first , the doctor will call if something happens." After speaking, he turned to leave.

"Jinrui." Ke Jinxi called him to stop, and quickly walked a few steps to follow, "Sister's words are not nice, but I hope you can think clearly."

Ke Jinrui looked at her calmly: "Say it."

Ke Jinxi said: "There is no room for maneuver between our family and Guan Zan. The old man made a mistake and he was sorry for them, but now that he is so old, he has given all the good things to Guan Zan, I know These can't make up for Yu Wen's life and Yuan Xin's damaged spirit, but the old man has already done everything he can, so he can't take his life into it, can he?"

Ke Jinrui was noncommittal and did not speak.

Ke Jinxi continued: "I also feel sorry for Guan Zan, and I am also optimistic about his talent, but comparing the two, I can only choose our father. I hope he can survive this time and live in peace for a few more years. As for Guan Zan ..." She took a deep breath, "He really doesn't forgive, and there is nothing we can do about it. Let's break it up, let's get our share."

"Don't worry about it." Ke Jinrui said.

"Jinrui!" Ke Jinxi wanted to say more, but was interrupted by Ke Jinrui.Ke Jinrui said: "This is a matter between me and Guan Zan, and it has nothing to do with anyone else. Unless he hates me together and thinks that Guan Yuwen's misfortune is also my responsibility, no one will say anything!"

After ten o'clock, the rain that had been raining for a whole day finally showed a tendency to decrease.

Guan Zan stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling window and wiped his hair, absent-mindedly watching the rainwater pooled on the glass dripping down in small streams. Sola lay crookedly at his feet, wagging her fur tail, rubbing around Guan Zan's legs, then meowed, looking up at him, waiting to be hugged.

Guan Zan put a damp towel on the back of the chair, and sat down on the long-haired carpet. Sola slipped into his arms consciously, and squinted her eyes with peace of mind.

There was a knock on the door not far away, Xia Mingxi pushed the door open and came in, handed Guan Zan a cup of freshly warmed milk, and asked, "Would you like some medicine? You may still have a fever tomorrow after being drenched in the rain."

"I don't feel uncomfortable." Guan Zan smiled at him, "Did you go out just now?"

"Yeah." Xia Mingxi smiled, "I just sowed some flower seeds two days ago, let's see if they are drowned by the rain."

Guan Zan was startled, and subconsciously asked, "Is there?"

Xia Mingxi lowered his head, took a sip of his coffee, and replied casually: "I don't know, I've never planted seeds before, and I might waste seeds again."

Guan Zan was amused, and finally returned to silence. After a moment of silence, he said, "Teacher, I have already considered the qualification exchange I mentioned to you earlier."

Xia Mingxi didn't speak, put down his glass, and sat down next to Guan Zan. "It's not difficult. I'll call the school tomorrow. If you want, you don't have to take the exchange route. You can start over from freshman year and learn composition seriously." He bent up, put one leg on the side, and put his arms on his knees, sitting very casually, "But Guzheng..." He looked at Guan Zan peacefully, "Are you really going to give up just like that?"

"I don't know, I don't want to lie to you, but I really didn't think about it." Guan Zan replied truthfully, "I can't say I gave up, I just want to change the road, change the environment, and change my mood for the time being."

"May I ask why?" Xia Mingxi said softly.

Guan Zan did not answer.Seeing this, Xia Mingxi explained: "I'm not a very curious person, and I know that something must have happened tonight. Guan Zan, the teacher can feel that you are depressed and want to seek relief. That incident must have pushed you It’s nowhere to go, so I have to give up everything I’ve got.”

"It's still the same sentence, I can help you, and I am very willing to help you, but if you don't say anything, I am afraid that I will help you by mistake."

Guan Zan shook his head, his voice was calm and affirmative: "It can't be wrong, even if I really regret it in the future, it's a kind of karma, and I can take responsibility for myself."

"Actually..." Guan Zan relaxed, running his fingers through Sola's white and soft hair, and stroking the cat's soft body, "Achievement is not that important to me. I may be more important than the attention and fame I have now. I like playing the piano itself."

"I wonder if you can understand that feeling?"

"My family conditions are very poor, and I have been in a state of dislike since I was a child. Until last year, I suddenly found another meaning in life. Guzheng is not a luxury dream for me, nor is it a life-long struggle. My career, it is not so high in my heart, but it is within reach."

Having said this, Guan Zan curled the corner of his mouth indistinctly.

"I really don't want to treat it as a pursuit. Rather than pleasing others, I hope to use it to please myself. Every time I sit on the stage and face thousands of audiences, I will be very happy. Calm, because there are only a few people in my heart, and I tell myself, I just want to play for them."

He lowered his head and closed his eyelashes tightly to prevent tears from falling.

"But just a few days ago, I suddenly discovered that even if it wasn't my dream, I paid too much. Those who expected me to fly higher and higher, their purpose was not as simple as imagined, but Everything I have now has a purpose so heavy that I simply can't accept it."

"Teacher..." He looked up at Xia Mingxi with a calm and fragile expression, "It has nothing to do with giving up or not, but because as long as I continue on this road, I will never get out of the shadow of the previous generation, and I can't get rid of it." The debt and compensation of those people."

"I can't do anything about the past. I want to forget it quickly, so I can only leave the current situation covered by the influence. So I have thought clearly enough that I won't regret it, otherwise I wouldn't come to you today."

After he finished speaking, Xia Mingxi did not respond for a long time.

The two were relatively silent, and even Sola noticed the difference and raised her head to look at Guan Zan.

Suddenly, the vibration sounded.

Guan Zan snapped back to his senses, and turned his head to look at the mobile phone not far away.

Xia Mingxi said: "I'll take care of things, you should rest well, don't think too much these few days, it's all over." He got up and left the guest room, closing the door for Guan Zan.

Guan Zan let out a long sigh of relief, put down Sola, and reached for the phone.He saw the caller hesitate, but he couldn't bear to hang up after all.

The call was connected, and this time the situation was reversed. He heard the boundless silence after the sound of rain.

"Where are you?" Guan Zan stood up, remained silent for a few seconds, and asked tentatively, "Did you look for me everywhere?"

"No." Ke Jinrui replied, "Because I found it."

Guan Zan was stunned for a moment.Ke Jinrui chuckled and said, "Don't be nervous, open the door behind you and take a look, and then decide whether to see me or drive me away."

Guan Zan turned around abruptly, and opened the sliding door leading to the balcony.

At night, the wind blew up and scattered the rain, Guan Zan was almost suffocated by the oncoming water vapor.The sound inside and outside the earpiece completely overlapped, the world as far as he could see was foggy, and his vision was trembling, with the aftertaste of a touch of saltiness and a touch of sourness.

The familiar Land Rover was parked outside the courtyard wall, the street lights were pale, Ke Jinrui stood under the lights, standing in the rain, holding up his mobile phone, but looking in his direction.

"Are you distressed?"

He heard the irresistible voice slyly speak, he heard him sigh, and then go low, with less obvious pleading and resignation.

He said, "Zan-chan, I can't live without you."